Are we over programming our children and when is enough enough? 
 
Children today have so many choices of activities and wonderful things that they can be involved in from soccer to yoga to chess club.  These activities are great and provide children with important skills. However, there has to be a balance between activities and free time.
 Free time and, yes, even boredom are very important for children. Children's self -esteem comes from imagination and taking risks.  If they are always in structured activities when do they have time to imagine or take a risk?  Children understand the world through play.  It is their medium of communication and is crucial for their well-being.  A child who has had an illness can understand and make sense of the hospital experience by playing doctor.  Two girls can learn conflict resolution by deciding who gets to be the mommy and who gets to be the daughter.  

As adults we understand and make sense of our world by talking to friends, or spouses and processing our experiences.  When children imagine and play with friends they are learning the fundamental skills for future relationships, conflicts, abstract thinking, jobs and the list goes on.  If a child’s day, week, month is filled with activities, they are missing out on these vital life skills.  Children can end up lacking decision-making abilities because every decision is made for them and every minute is planned for them.  They cannot make even simple choices.  In addition, we are over stimulating our children and there is a stress about always having to be somewhere. When it comes to relaxing they no longer know how. 

As parents we need to understand the value of unstructured time by limiting activities, outside lessons, and electronic media. We need to understand the role of simple toys and good books in opening a child’s imagination. Finally, we need to understand that just being at home with mom and dad provides a sense of security and safety.

Counselor’s Corner is part of our school mental health program, a partnership between Akiba Academy and Jewish Family Service.  If you have any questions, ideas or concerns please contact us.

Sincerely,

Heather Behr & Suzie Hacker
Akiba School Counselors

 

 

March 1, 2010

Give Yourself a Break!

Parenting is hard work and it is important to take time for you. Give yourself a break from time to time. Schedule time to do things that you enjoy: taking a walk, reading a book, or spending an evening out with friends.  With children having so many activities and commitments, it is easy to put yourself at the bottom of the priority list.  With some time to recharge, you will be a more accessible and present parent to your children. You are also setting an example for your children of the need to balance work, family and fun in one’s life.

It is also important not to demand too much from yourself with regard to parenting.  Encouraging behavior in children takes time. Be patient expecting change. Don’t be discouraged if you have to teach the same lesson to your child over and over again.  This is a normal part of their testing and learning.  If you make a mistake, apologize.  An apology shows children to be respectful of others’ feelings.  It also gives children permission from you to make mistakes and to be human.  No parent knows everything and all parents struggle.  When you are feeling overwhelmed, try to focus on what you like about being a parent.  Try to enjoy the journey- it is a fast ride!

Counselor’s Corner is part of our school mental health program, a partnership between Akiba Academy and Jewish Family Service.  If you have any questions, ideas or concerns please contact me or Heather Behr at ext. 1216.

Suzie Hacker, LMSW
Preschool-4th grade counselor

Counselor’s Corner is part of our school mental health program, a partnership between  Akiba and Jewish Family Service.  If you would like to contact us at any time throughout the school year, please know our doors are always open.

Heather Behr, LMSW and Suzie Hacker, LMSW